Not Quite a Fairytale
by turquoise-kitsune
Summary: The war is over and Voldemort is gone, so why isn't Harry happy? In love with his godparents, ridiculed by his friends and living in Snake territory, Harry finds himself 20 years in the past. Is Destiny once again playing with him, or is it love? Slash,
1. Dropping In

**Not Quite a Fairytale  
**A request by BlueisLife

**By Turquoise-Kitsune**

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is being owned by JK Rowling, I is being owned by malevolent spirit in my head.

**Warnings: **Slash, Gryffindor bashing (except Neville)

**Things to cry about: **Harry losing his possessions, Karma being a bitch, Homework,

**Things to dance around in a circle about: **Hermione, Ginny, Ron bashing, DracoXNeville, HarryXRemusXSirius threesome, Karma's evil plan, Dumbledore's lemon drops.

**Chapter 1 - - Dropping In**

It was the last period before lunch for the seventh years, Potions. Professor Slughorn was chortling merrily about some famous niece's cousin's mother's father's nephew. Students milled around diligently working on their potions, while anticipating lunch eagerly.

20 years later a young man had just disappeared from his Potions class. Said young man was the newest hero of the wizarding world, after killing yet another Dark lord threatening to take over the world, after all that's what Dark lords do, plot, rampage, kill and generally cause chaos till some young naïve hero, pampered from birth, comes along and vanquishes said dark lord, and then rides away into the sunset with his fair maiden.

However such only happens in fairytales and as much as he wished it Harry James Potter didn't live in one. For one our hero had never been pampered, no rather he had been a house elf since he could walk. Then after an abusive 11 years, young Harry was rescued by the great half-giant Hagrid, and thus began his story.

Now, he was 17, single, ridiculed by his would be friends, hated by his house, gay, and completely and utterly in love with his godparents. He had been secretly lusting after Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, his now dead father's best non-traitor friends at school. He _had _been with young Miss Ginerva Weasley that was until he had deemed it stupid to continue his façade of straight orientation. He had told his ex-girlfriend to her face a few days after the vanquishing of Lord Voldemort, his exact words had been, _"Hey, Ginny, you know I love you but it is family love, and I don't think I can be the one you need, because I might, just a bit be gay, you know?"  
_And her exact words had been, _"fuck off you fucking bastard, we were supposed to get married!! Wait till I tell everyone!"_

And tell she did, though a few half-truths and straight out lies had been thrown into the mix, Half truths like, _"he came out gay after I caught him," _and, _"he had been spending a lot of time with Malfoy," _the Malfoy bit was true however, though ick Harry wasn't into blondes, nope, but Neville was.

Mr. Potter had been playing matchmaker between his friend Neville and his newest Slytherin friend Draco Malfoy. It was this particular newly formed friendship that saved Harry from the fury of stupid rampaging Gryffindors. Miss Ginerva had taken it upon herself to become the bane of Harry Potter's existence, and the ugly manipulative witch see was only helped when she convinced the other Gryffindors that Mr. Potter had been cheating on her with Malfoy, and dumped her after taking her virginity. Of course anyone in their right mind would know that Ginerva Weasley was a new kind of whore, that lost her virginity at age 13 in the astronomy tower with Terry Boot. But Mr. Ronald Weasley, now former best friend to Harry, had refused to believe that his perfect little sister had done anything with anyone, steady become the second bane of Harry's existence.

But of course the final blow was Hermione Granger turning away from him, the poor girl was crazy for Mr. Weasley and would have done anything to get him. Of course that anything became, spitting him her best friends face, even though she herself had once found Ginerva in the Charms classroom, half dressed, sucking off Mr. Ernie Macmillan. But as they say love is can make people do crazy things, and yes Karma too had played a key role in the ruining of all Harry Potter's belongings.

The entire Gryffindor 7th year had taken themselves up to Harry's Dormitory, and proceeded to destroy Harry's belongings. Said young man was able to escape with only the marauders map, Neville and several broken bones and bruises. Much to his horror he discovered that his former best friends had not only incinerated all his clothes, Harry's most prized possessions, his invisibility cloak and his only photos of his parents, were now also ashes.

Running down the corridors they came across a surprised Albus Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and a rather more sympathic than his usual stoic self Severus Salazar Snape. Once of course the story was told Harry and Neville found themselves dressed in Slytherin robes, thanks to a furious Snape who now thought of Harry Potter, the former bane of his existence as a son, and Neville Longbottom his second least favourite student as a godson-in-law, it was no secret in Slytherin that Draco Malfoy fully intended to marry Neville.

So of course the next day when they showed up at breakfast donning Slytherin robes, there was a not-so-silent uproar. All of Hogwarts failed to see how Harry Potter icon of light could be anywhere near the dark side of the school. Said icon only smirked and plonked down across from Neville and Draco, high fiving the blonde, before letting Neville snog the Draco's breath away, in plain view of the rest of the castle. The shouts of indignation died as the rest of Hogwarts save Dumbledore and the Slytherins, gaped at the right out bizarre sight of Ice prince Malfoy kissing the cowardly Gryffindor.

But then of course once the initial shock wore off, the Gryffindors were shamefaced. Not that Harry cared much, truthfully he was glad Ginny's accusation had been taken the way it was. He now knew where his so called friend's loyalties lay. Harry looked up briefly to catch sight of a glaring Ginerva Weasley placed firmly of the lap of some Ravenclaw that was desperately trying to win Ginny's attention. He grinned at Draco who had also noticed Ginny, the blonde winked before once again locking lips with his boyfriend.

XxXxXxXxXxX

The first 7th year class of the day happened to be Potions much to Severus Snape's delight. He had long come to terms with Harry explaining that his snarkyness was only due to his spy position in the war, and he was actually good friends with Harry's parent's and thanks to Lily was Harry's honorary Godfather, along with Sirius and Remus. Severus was in fact smirking in anticipation; he was going to show off his newly found godfather position by flaunting his powers as a teacher.

By the time they had all arrived, Severus had already written up their potion. It was Curatio Potion, a highly explosive concoction that was also a highly effective healing potion. He noticed Draco and Harry had already started, pairing up. Poor Neville had not been able to make it into the NEWT potion class, though somewhat by miracle Weasley had, no doubt thanks to Grangers meddling.

Severus's gaze strayed to Harry. The boy's growing infatuation with Black and Lupin was becoming increasingly desperate. He had seen those longing looks Harry cast at the couple; he had also seen the longing looks cast back. No doubt the fools were too dense to realize that they all wanted each other. But of course that was your Gryffindors with their foolish morals. He rolled his eyes slightly, before he began his rounds around the classroom.

Gryffindor was near negative points when it happened. A furious Ronald Weasley glaring at Harry, as Snape took more points for Dean's pathetic attempt at a potion, flung over a piece of Bloomslang skin, that flew across the room and promptly landed in Harry's near perfect potion. Nothing happened for a moment, until the potion turned an ugly shade of brown, and began fizzing and hissing and all in a moment there was a blast and icon of the light and all things not evil vanished, taking half the potion classroom with him.

20 years in the past, Professor Slughorn's speech was interrupted by a loud bang and the appearance of a small elfin raven haired boy covered in soot, who promptly passed out.

**Did you like it people? This is a promised Request fic for BlueisLife!! Hope you like it!!**

**Dark secrets: **Severus Snape has been gifted by a strange pairing, it could be a lover, a threesome or a foursome, me is not telling, I will write a one shot for the first five people who work it out, and only one guess per review.


	2. First Impressions

**Not Quite a Fairytale**

A request by BlueisLife

**By Turquoise-Kitsune**

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is being owned by JK Rowling, I is being owned by malevolent spirit in my head.

**Warnings: **Slash, Gryffindor bashing (except Neville)

**Things to cry about: **Harry losing his possessions, Karma being a bitch, Homework,

**Things to dance around in a circle about: **Hermione, Ginny, Ron bashing, DracoXNeville, HarryXRemusXSirius threesome, Karma's evil plan, Dumbledore's lemon drops.

- - -

Chapter 2 - - First Impressions 

Harry awakened to blinding whiteness, a twinkle-eyed headmaster and a grumbling matron.

"Wha-?" Harry moaned incoherently, and Madame Pomfrey began checking his vitals.

"Really, the things children get up to these days. Time travel I ask you!" Poppy admonished the poor boy.

Oh yes thanks to the dearest Ronald, Harry had poofed away 20 years into the past and into the afternoon 7th year potion class, sending said class into chaos, only to be halt when the headmaster came down, demanding everyone eat a lemon drop, laced with calming potion and a mild truth serum, shortly after hauling an unconscious Harry up to the infirmary.

Said Harry was currently realizing where he was, or more specifically what time he was in.

"So Dad, Mum, Siri, Remi, Sevvie? They're all here? In their teens??"

Albus beamed, "Oh so you're James' child? I imagine Lily's the mother? Well then I suppose it's a shame they're away right now, out in Norway with Peter…"

"They're all gone?" Harry asked put out.

"Oh no, no. Everyone else is here, Sirius and Remus, and even Severus. Though I do find it strange that you are aware of him. James and he had the most amusing rivalry, along with Sirius,"

The headmaster chortled on, Harry eventually – deemed healthy by Poppy – along with Albus wandering around Hogwarts ignoring the bewildered gaze of many students at the slightly senile old man and a supposed new comer. But of course Harry's luck had it that they ran in on the most interesting confrontation.

"Sevvie!!" Harry shrieked in delight racing out onto the Quidditch pitch, ignoring the Remus and Sirius who seemed terrified that someone was hugging Snivillus, let alone someone who was a cute rather feminine version of James…..except more attractive, with his silky mussed hair, wide innocent green eyes, tan skin, and petite stature, the Boy Who Lived To Kill He Who Is Not To Be Named And Become Delicious had girls and boys swooning all over the place. Severus of course was also shocked that there was James look-a-like clinging to his waist. Lucius who also happened to be there at that moment used the opportunity to glue his mouth to his fiancés, Narcissa Black.

Harry slid off and beamed, then frowning,

"Wow, Sevvie you're really much littler than before…"

Severus glared, "Look who's talking midget," Severus Snape was a respectable 6'2, though nothing on his soon would be 6'9. Harry pouted, causing Narcissa to thump Severus and coo at Harry's cuteness, clutching him to her ample bosom.

Sirius finally gained control of his mouth shouting loudly, "Why? Why has James become so shockingly adorable, and more lovable than me, even after he has shrunk to minute size?!" Everyone stopped for a moment, blinking slightly, before the James look-a-like, glared evilly, who happened to be very indignant about his size.

Detaching himself from Narcissa's arms, he marched over to his 17 year old crush and promptly kicked him in the shin, then pushing him over into the conveniently placed lake behind him. Sirius stumbled out sloping water everywhere, completely drenched. The picture had everyone nearby rolling around in mirth, Remus included. Sirius pouted, while Harry beamed innocently,

"Well at least you look cute wet..." before he skipped off toward Albus who was sitting on a bench twiddling his thumbs, sucking absently on a lemon drop.

"Bye Sevvie!!" and Harry left with Albus once again blabbering about something or rather, leaving everyone in the yard slack-jawed, until Remus asked the question on everyone's mind,

"Who was that?"

- - -

Harry was finally introduced at dinner, when he and the headmaster marched in completely immersed in a completely serious debate on whether Lime drops were better than Lemon drops. They then suddenly became aware of the pin-drop silence in the great hall. Albus simply beamed and lead Harry up to the teachers table before the wide-eyed stares.

"Good evening school, it's my pleasure to inform you that our school will be playing host to this lovely young lad…………and I assure you he is male. For those of you wondering, yes he is a time traveller and yes his parents currently go here, but they're at Norway right now, Oh I do wonder how they are. I hear Norway has the most lovely snowfall except it's autumn…" Albus's rambling was cut short by Minerva's loud cough and a sharp glare.

"Oh, right, where was I? Oh, This is Harry everyone and I expect everyone to make him feel welcome. He will be taking classes with you and will be staying in the-what dormitory do you want to stay in Harry?"

Harry, still rather affronted by the Gryffindors in his own time opted for the next best option,

"With Sevvie!!"

"Then Harry will be in the Slytherin dormitories, now on with dinner everyone," Albus's eyes twinkled and Harry wandered down to the Slytherin table and plonked himself on Severus' lap, helping himself to Severus' dinner.

- - -

After a Severus' dinner Harry was escorted to the Slytherin common room. Bombarded with questions of the future, he was immediately friends with everyone. Anyone who can sit in Severus Snape's lap and live is a hero, even though our hero is already a hero………but the Slytherins don't know that. Harry was lead by Severus to their new room shared with Lucius, three to a room, king beds dressed in black and silver silk, individual closets for each bed, bedside drawers, even an en suite for each room, only the best for the Slytherin prince, the resident potion master, and the newest little beauty.

As the crowd finally dispersed, Harry turned in for bed, followed by Severus, while Lucius sneaked out to visit Narcissa. The raven moaned at the silk sheets on his skin.

Mmm, isn't this interesting 20 years in the past…….with Remus and Sirius… Harry smirked

Young hormonal easily seduced Remus and Sirius. Might as well make the best of the situation...

And our hero slept with a smile on his face, dreaming of his fair loves.

- - -

I know, I know, months and months with no update!! But here it is and my second clue!!

Severus is not having a relationship in this part of the story because his lovers aren't there in this time!!

So there's your clue and REVIEW!


	3. Hormone Driven

Chapter Three

**Hormone Driven **

By Turquoise

Malachite eyes opened to black canopy's, arching low and tinted red, from the suns dawn glow, peering through a fake window, after all you can't see the sun underground, otherwise you wouldn't be underground, and Harry Potter was in the dungeons, underground.

Rising out of downy soft sheets our sleep-ridden hero staggered to the shower, were an surprise awaited him.

"Damnit Lucius!" Harry cursed and stumbled as he walked flat into a blindingly naked blonde. Glassy-eyed, Lucius was more than a bit drunk; the sweet scent of lavender masking the pungent smell of what could only be whisky.

"Weeell, Hellllloo there Mr. Minnnnie…." It was a good thing we was drunk too or Lucius would have become the first victim to DUN, DUN, DUN, Harry Potter Grumpy Pants!

You see on any average lovely bright sun shiny day, our hero would be a happy vertically challenged hero, but no this was not any bright sun shiny day, oh no, all the bright sun shininess evaporated the moment he was visited by a delusional drunk. Nope now there were dark stormy clouds on the horizon, sparking with lightning and roaring in thunder. So quite simply put Harry Potter was not a Happy Camper.

**XxXx**

The trip down to the great hall was rather uneventful that is if you're ignorant enough to not notice all the blood and tears. Well maybe not blood, but certainly tears, yup hundreds of brawling first years who came into contact with Harry Potter Grumpy Pants. And those who weren't crying their eyes out at the meanie menace, took to noticing the second skin leather pants and pearly silver not shirt our hero had donned in a rush, (If one looked closely enough one would notice said clothes were clearly labelled Lucius Malfoy, but no one was about to point this out) But of course those who had the pleasure of witnessing such a glorious sight never lasted long enough to enjoy it thoroughly enough passing out due to blood loss in a ludicrously anime style. So I suppose I was lying then and there was bloodshed.

So as to say the school was in a state of disarray, leaving many in tears and well blood too.

And our hero valiantly strode through many unconscious bodies, eyes placed keenly on the coveted last cup of coffee….

…..that Lucius picked up with his dainty little fingers and sipped away daintily on Mr. Harry Potter's cup of coffee that Mr. Harry Potter should have been picking up with dainty fingers and daintily sipping away at the black nectar of the gods. But no, quite clearly it was Lucius and NOT Harry with the coffee, and by god that blonde menace had incurred the wrath of MR. HARRY POTTER GRUMPY PANTS!

Needless to say the poor man didn't know what hit him. One minute recovering from Harry's early morning verbal beating, sipping away innocently enough at coffee and the next we was on the floor out cold, rather inelegantly too.

The great halls attention was diverted to the black haired GOD, that thundered before them, VICTORIOUSLY holding the befouled remains of the last cup of coffee. And the slowly the dark thunderous anime style clouds faded away, and MR. HARRY POTTER GRUMPY PANTS went poof, and returned to the usual innocently adorable smotherable edible-ahem. So he was back to normal

The hall stared in silence for silence was clearly the best reaction.

**XxXx**

Sirius was disturbed, truly, deeply and seriously disturbed. He stroked his beardless chin thoughtfully, no doubt pondering the great vastness of the universe. No, not really, he was wondering about a certain edible raven boy, rather confused. So the boy was delicious, but there were lots of delicious boys, okay so maybe not HEAPS, however there were a reasonable amount of godly gay men. But never once, not ever, did Sirius ever feel the need to attack one viciously….with his mouth.

He appreciated beauty more than most other, in fact he was not ashamed about his rather blatant 'appreciation'. Nevertheless Remus was his 'One', and no matter how fabulous some boys were. Remus outshined them like the sun to flickering cheap two dollar shop light bulbs. Sirius was simply devoted to Remus in every way, and well this rather sudden desire that erupted within his loins was bothering him…a lot.

Not too far away another boy was facing the same issues. Alone with a fascinating book on the goblin wars of '83, Remus was far from sight, curled up under a tree by the lake. However his attention was far from the goblins, for he too was puzzled by the fire in his loins, lit by the new kid. The delicious new kid. Remus sighed, he was rather ashamed of his reaction. Sirius might gape openly, but he never strayed from Remus. And here Remus was, fanaticising over this raven haired beauty. Old insecurities rose to the surface, and the sandy blonde boy buried his face in his hands.

"Lupin," The sneering voice was familiar, equal servings of malicious intent and amusement, Severus. Remus grinned at the dark shadow blocking his sunlight. He had never told his Gryffindor friends but he was rather fond of Severus, in an entirely platonic way of course. The vicious, Stab-Now-Talk-Later attitude was endlessly amusing, and it was always fun to see Sirius be taken down a notch or two.

Severus himself would never admit either, but he too was rather fond of the werewolf. Despite their especially fun encounter in the shrieking shack, they got along fairly well. Mainly because they liked books, lots of books…..gay erotica books.

Severus and Remus were dragged into some strange obsessive fascination of Lily and Narcissa's. Yaoi, drawn porn really, and well Severus wasn't complaining, he had to get his rocks off somehow. He scowled, at least Remus had Sirius for-ahem exercise.

"SEVVIE! There you are!" And Severus was attacked by a flurry of black fluffy hair, black fluffy hair he had been carefully avoiding all morning. He cursed under his breath, and two really green eyes peered up at him. "Sevvie, where you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Indeed Severus, one would even think that you were avoiding our guest from the future," Lucius gave him an amused smirk, Severus face-palmed. His own friends had come to laugh at his affliction. Hmm, that's right. This Harry boy was like an affliction….like a fungus of sorts.

He snorted, looking down to see that the little menace had vanished. He spun, vicious insult on the tip of his razor tongue, and choked it down at the sight. Legions of females were clumped in groups, surrounding them for at least a few miles. Their eyes were large and very sparkly, and Severus was scared, very scared.

He backed away slowly, careful to not make any sudden movements, only to find that Harry and Remus had left him behind to deal with this female frenzy.

"Noooooo," His voice was drowned by a sea of crazy hormone driven females slamming into him, and dragging him under. And while this may have been a more straight mans most fond fantasy, he was GAY DAMNNIT!

**XxXx**

Far away, Far Far Away, Remus and Harry collapsed panting against the corridor of the third floor, having run all the way here. Remus felt a prang of guilt at leaving Severus to be mauled, but it vanished as he took in the sight before him. Flushed pink cheeks, big toothy grin, hair mussed, green eyes sparkling, panting Harry was very attractive. Very, very attractive.

Remus's throat was dry. He tried to swallow down his desire, as the flames of lust erupted and raced across his body. His legs came up reflexively to hide his growing reaction, and his face flushed a deep plum that caused Harry to stare at him funnily.

"Are you okay Remus? You're going a funny colour," Harry crawled towards Remus, who gasped and tried desperately to will down his erection. The gods however were particularly bored, and were rather amused with the scene. So the gods were not on his side.

Harry's face was close, far too close, as he checked Remus's temperature. Remus blushed even harder as his face came into contact his Harry's cool hand. His eyes wide, he looked right into Harry's eyes and drowned suddenly and abruptly in a sea of green. The werewolf's eyes were darkened with lust, and Remus moaned as he saw the returning desire in Harry's eyes.

Their faces were flush against each other, their breathes intermingling, and suddenly their lips were crushing together. Lips sucking and nipping furiously, slippery tongue slithering through pliant lips and Harry moaned, pressing hard against Remus, his need throbbing, desire ravaging his body and good sense.

**TBC**

HI! I know the long awaited update has arrived! Was it any good? I don't know, but I needed a break. I have exams all next week, poor me!

THANK YOU ALL MY FAITHFUL REVIEWERS!

I am on the favourite author list of 58 people and I thought I'd say THANK YOU to all the people to alert, favourite and review my stories!

LOVE YOU!

**SEVERUS: **Concerning his lovers, I know one person, **DementedViper** has guessed right, however this lovely little reviewer had two guesses, and needs to answer with one! Your clue for this chapter is that Severus is in a threesome, that lucky bastard! So figure out who's involved in this Severus Sandwich and you may have a oneshot of your request!


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